« They Never Learn | Main | Why People Can't Drive »

September 01, 2006

The Mommy Blog Bog

Oh Christ on a crutch, the Daily Kos started up a new site, Mother Talkers. It's a fucking mommy blogger heaven (see Blogs, Women, and Mommies), boring as all hell, and just another ghetto for women to get shoved into and ignored.

I mean, why in the fuck have entire blogs to talk about kids, poop, snot, breastfeeding and other mundanity? It would be like if I blogged about my daily life with:

"I took a really big dump this morning. The toilet even clogged! Even the cat said it stank.

I gotta buy a new plunger. What do you think is the best type of toilet plunger to get for breaking up really big logs? The internationally award winning Toilet Blog suggests a plastic plunger, but a recent article in American Toilet Maintenance suggested using only rubber plungers for their durability.

My friend Juliet said that I need to eat more fiber, stuff like oatmeal and celery. But I hate that stuff, it clogs me up and my poops are even bigger. Would losing weight solve my problem? I sometimes get afraid I'll have to call a plumber to drill my stools out of the pipes. I mean these are really big and stinky.

Would chemicals work better? I did a bit of research on the web, but all the sites I found were about the environmental hazards of the chemicals. What if part of the plunger breaks off when I'm using it? Can I get RSI's from having to plunger my toilet too often when I take a dump?"

Who in the fuck wants to read that kind of inane drivel? Yet that what diaper changing, breastfeeding, preschool wanking, mommy blogging boils down to - boring, mundane drivel. I mean they have an article about "Study: Last Born Just As Smart As First Born"! Who the fuck cares, and why is this even an issue? Crap, my cats are more interesting, and you don't see me blogging at length about them!

I wish that all of those self absorbed bints who think that motherhood is so fucking unique and special would grow up, and get a god damned life!! You know, one that has more than poop and preschool, one that doesn't center around their overindulged, spoilt, bratty, entitled progeny. Men and women have been having and raising kids as long as the human race has existed. Being a mommy is not unique or special, except maybe to your kids. Get over yourselves, for fucks sake, and come back into the real world, not daycare fantasyland.

Oh, for mothers whose kids get too much underfoot while they are trying to focus, may I suggest The Babykeeper. Hang it from the door, insert kid, and your toddler won't be running all over the place.

Posted by ljl at September 1, 2006 11:53 AM

Comments